Flashback Fridays

 1988: That Time I Wore White Opaque Tights for Easter

Talk about pasty white. This photo of my sister and I was taken sometime in 1988. Judging from my Pac-Man polka-dotted skirt suit and Deanna’s ever-so-fashionable drop-waisted mid-thigh bow dress, I’m guessing this was Easter Sunday. We are both sporting horrendous chalky-colored opaque tights and thinking to ourselves, “Damn! We look good! Let’s go to church!”

Apparently this “whitie tighties” trend became popular somewhere in the mid-to-late 1980s. My online research failed to pinpoint the actual originator of the trend, but I’m pretty sure this look – worn flawlessly by Princess Diana – could have started it all. The photo on the right is from a 1986 Harper’s Bazaar spread, when the equally offensive “prairie” look was in full effect. In 1988, the movie Heatherscame out and white-out legs were everywhere. [Read more…]1976: That Time I Wore My Jaws T-Shirt for Picture Day

My mom never forgave me this photo. Yes, I knew it was school photo day. I just didn’t tell her. I wanted to wear my Jaws t-shirt and I was sure she wouldn’t let me. I knew all the other girls would be dressed in frilly little dresses, but I wanted to be different. I remember asking the photographer if they could move “that stupid bell thing” so people could see the whole shark. I am certain that he laughed at me.

The original Jaws movie opened in 1975 and I went to see it with my two older sisters. I can remember sitting in the theater with my feet up in the chair because I was convinced that the doors would open and shark-infested ocean water was going to pour in.

I didn’t understand why they were trying to kill the shark. I kept asking my sisters, “Why can’t they just dump a bunch of fish food in the deep water where it swims so it won’t eat people?” [Read more]

1985: That Time I Had THIS Haircut

This was my 1985 high school yearbook photo. I was in the process of growing out my Princess Diana haircut and my hair was absolutely fried thanks to a regular routine of bleaching, blow-drying, and using a curling iron.

I cannot believe how much time and effort I spent every morning creating this horrific look. What I wouldn’t give to get that time back. Hey, while we’re at it, I want those eyebrows back too!

What I don’t want back is my old nose. Or my old teeth.

At least I was starting to learn to use makeup properly. Although a bit heavy, I do like the colors I’m wearing. Especially the lipstick.  I also like the red sweater and the twist-a-bead necklace. Remember those? (Read more…)

1987: That Time I Gave Tammy Faye Baker a Run For Her Makeup Money

This photo of my sister and me was taken at The University of Alabama’s 1987 Homecoming Game. Growing up in the South, college football was a big deal. Although I was never really that interested in college football, I did like the tradition of dressing up to go to homecoming. And I REALLY liked going to college frat parties with my sister when I was seriously underaged. (Sorry, Mom.)

But come on. Unless you’re the entertainment, who dresses like this for a football game? Today, if I were to go to a Jets or Giants game, I’d probably wear a pair of jeans, boots and a sweater.  Certainly not a red sweater dress with a sequin bow and crystal earrings. And damn that blue eyeshadow. I got into the habit of wearing blue eyeshadow in the 80’s because I was a majorette in the marching band and we had to wear it for football games and other performances. It was part of our overall look. You know. Very southern “beauty pageant.” Very “Tammy-Faye.” (Read more…)

1989: That Time I Was a Maniac, Maniac on the Floor

No, your eyes are not deceiving you. Those are indeed sequin leg warmers I’m wearing in this photo. They match the sequin cummerbund belt and the sequin arm bands. How about those lovely white jazz shoes? And we won’t even talk about the hair. (My bad hair history will be a recurring theme in the Flashback Friday series.)

This was one of my college danceline costumes. The dancers were called “The Southern Belles” and we performed at college basketball games. Yep, I was sort of like an L.A. Laker girl. And by L.A., I mean Lower Alabama.

To be honest, this look wasn’t totally my fault. It was a costume obviously. I didn’t pick it out. There was an even worse costume the year before. It was a red unitard. [Read more…]

1991: That Time I Had Black Eyebrows and a Chicken-Pox Scar

This photo was taken in 1991. I was attending the University of Alabama at Birmingham where I majored in theatre and where my bangs won an award for most dramatic performance.

To get this look, I would put an extraordinary amount of mousse in my hair, then blow-dry with a round brush, and then tease. And tease. And tease. Then swoop. Then spray the living hell out of it.

My hair was so incredibly damaged back then. Look how dry and thin the ends are. One of the reasons I wear my hair short now is because I tortured it so much back in the 80’s and 90’s. With the bleaching and teasing, and OMG – I even had a perm. [Read more…]