I don’t tan. I can’t tan. And even if I could, I wouldn’t. I have an overarching fear of ending up looking like Magda from the movie Something About Mary.

I also have a significant fear of skin cancer, which is why I never go out into the sun without using the highest SPF I can possibly find.

However, I will admit that I look (and feel!) better when I have a little color. So obviously I’m a huge fan of self-tanning products.

When St. Tropez came out with it’s new “In-Shower” Gradual Tanning Lotion, I had to try it. I was pretty skeptical, as I’m guessing most of you are. A tanning product that you apply in the shower and then rinse off? How could this possibly work?

Well, actually, it does work. I’ve been using the product for a few months and it does give you a gradual, natural looking tan. You simply apply the lotion to your wet skin after showering and leave it on for three minutes. Then you rinse it off with warm water.

But here’s the tricky part. You actually have to stand in the shower (naked, obviously) for three minutes. Three minutes can seem like an eternity when you’re naked and cold and just standing there. I tried to come up with creative ways to use my minutes. I did side stretches – 90 seconds on each side. I applied a conditioning mask to my hair. I recited the Declaration of Independence. (Okay, I didn’t really do that.)

Eventually, to be perfectly honest, I lost my patience and stopped using this product in the shower. Now I actually use it every other night in the tub. But I only use it on my face. That way, I can lie back and relax in a warm bath instead of standing around feeling like an extra in an episode of Orange is the New Black.

Bottom line: Yes, this product works. IF you’ve got the patience for it. I didn’t.

I realized that I would rather just use an all-over sunless tanning spray or cream once I got out of the shower. On a positive note, I do love the way this product works on my face. It gives me such a perfect glow that I rarely have to use foundation anymore. And the color is very natural and not orange at all. Because orange really isn’t the new black. And never will be.

Try St. Tropez for yourself!